6/28/2010

talkin' about a revolution.

Jordan and I had an amazing conversation tonight (about money).

He consistently feels like he doesn't have any money and is most often $20-$50 in his overdraft (which has a $100 max).  This is a bit of a cycle, because each pay day he starts with a little bit less.  Although it doesn't have the same interest ramifications - I compare this to the cycle some folks get into with pay day loans.  He feels like money is going in to all these different places but doesn't have a handle about where/what that money is going/doing and is rarely sure about how much he has left to spend (hence the OD).

I have been trending to use my visa more often then I should.  I generally can pay it off - but sometimes it takes me a pay period or two.  With so much money going to debt repayment, I fear that I won't have enough money to reach my goals  - I struggle with easy/stress free management of my money.  I over (or perhaps under) think money needs/wants which leads me to be in a place mentally that I don't like.

We are both tired of trying to figure out who's money is doing which job and if it's doing enough of that job.  We're tired of 'owing' each other.  We see ourselves as a unit and a partnership and while not married - are legally common law.  We feel like our money is not being managed in the way we are trying to manage our life and this leads to a disparity. 

Jordan said to me tonight "We've inherited each other." He went on to explain that he wants to walk-the-walk in terms of taking on each other and our debt/savings obligations together.  I agreed, 100%.

We talked about our fears.
  • I have a fear of not having enough money set aside for the life things that we want to accomplish
  • I have a fear of spending too much discretionary income
  • Jordan has a fear of running out of money
  • Jordan has a fear of not knowing where all the money is
He asked if I was happy to do all the math and figure all the money out and  I was able to really think about that question.  I am happy to do the day-to-day tracking of money and come up with excel spreadsheets that do all the math for us, but not unless Jordan is a part of the process in coming up with our goals and plans for managing money.  I can execute if he'll help develop.  I want us both to be a part of the planning.  I don't want either of us to have the opportunity to resent the other. 

Jordan said he trusts me.

I listed to his needs.

We're ready to take the next few steps in organising our life and our plans.  We want to work together to come up with a plan and a budget that works.  We want to have the same savings goals.  We want to have one joint account where all the money lands, and our own personal chequing accounts for our 'allowances'. 

Jordan wants to know that the money his account is for spending and has no other job.  I want to know that our future plans are taken care of.  Jordan wants to know that we have money set aside for random trips to visit my family in BC.  I want to know that Christmas is paid for.

We're going to take care off all of those things and more, together.  I'm so looking forward to sharing this journey with you all.
Reactions:

2 comments:

  1. Wow, that is sure the next step for you guys. Make sure your allowances are enough that he can save up for shiny things. I guess that is another question. How will you do gifts to each other? I think the allowance model is a great idea. Too bad it will never occur to Dad.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are US! DH has same concerns. We don't "owe" each other, but we do worry about who is paying which bill each month. He FINALLY agreed to combine accounts when he begins his new job (1 month away!). It works a lot like yours - bills off the top, then $200 to each person for play money (clothes, restaurants, music), and rest to savings or extra student loan payments.

    ReplyDelete

Hi! Thank you for stopping by and leaving a message.

Followers

Links ♥