While Jordan and I are honeymooning in Vegas, I've asked a few of my favorite bloggers to help me out by writing a few guests posts. The first comes to us from Obsessive Compulsive Daniela, a 20 something Canadian blogger.
This past spring I received two wedding invitations from girlfriends. I used to be super tight with both of them, but due to physical distance, busy schedules, and a bit of laziness, we're not as close as we used to be. But they're both still the type of friend I can catch up with over a two hour phone chat. The weddings were less than one week apart – one on a Saturday and the other on the following Friday.
Weddings = wedding showers. One of my girlfriends had two wedding showers and a bachelorette (of which I could only attend one wedding shower) and my other friend had one shower. I’m not a huge wedding shower fan – I find them kind of boring – but sometimes you do what you gotta do, right?
Fast forward to five days before the first wedding. I received an email from my girlfriend explaining that the wedding was cancelled. I was totally shocked. I’m not going to get into the details around why it was called off, but suffice it to say, it was not an amicable break up.
I’m not proud of what I’m about to admit. My motives were totally selfish and self serving (and maybe a little bit human). Within a couple days of receiving the email, I thought to myself, so I’m going to get my fifty bucks back, right? I’d like to think that this was the pragmatic side of me coming out, my logical self that focuses on the numbers. Of course I was concerned about my friend. I wanted to know that she was okay, regardless of what had occurred, and we made plans to catch up with a couple of weeks. But that didn’t mean I stopped thinking about the $50.
Two months have gone by since the cancelled wedding. I have yet to receive a thank-you note or a refund (for lack of a better term). I’m normally a blunt person, and I’m comfortable asking somewhat uncomfortable questions, but this is one area I’m a little unsure of. It’s partially about the money, but it’s also the principle – I gave you X for a major life event, and then the event didn’t happen.
What do you think is proper etiquette in this sort of situation? Do I shut up and leave it be, or do I voice my concerns? If I don't get the money back, do I not give a future gift? What would you do?