Making a Will

We haven't finished Level 4 yet, because we're still taking our home inventory; but I didn't want to lose momentum (either in writing or in the My Money, My Choices process); so I'm going to start working through Level 5.

Activity 1, is to make a will.

Oi!  I knew this was coming, but I'm not sure I was ready for it just yet.

Activity 2 is to name a financial power of attorney, and Activity 3 is to name a personal care power of attorney.

I guess we need a laywer.

This Weekend...

Is going to be very full!

My girlfriend just had twins on the 29th and they were super early...They were only at 31.5 weeks and so they are staying in the hospital for at least a month.  My friend on the other hand, was released on Thursday. I imagine there will be quite a bit of back and forth visiting and what not - no one has seen the babies yet, and I would be very honoured if I was able to.

I'm also helping my mother-in-law move.  It's a bit of a stressful time on Jordan's side of the family - a lot of things are not going well with the family dynamic.  That said, I promised I would help before the current sh*t storm, so that is what I'm going to do.  I'm only going to go for 3 hours or so, instead of the all day event because of all the other plans this weekend - but I wanted to make sure I helped out a bit.  I'm hoping that she doesn't bring up any of the family stuff, because then I will have to leave early then planned (the conversation she may try to have with me, is not my conversation to have.

I also really want to go visit my great aunt - she's in an assisted living place in the city and it's been a solid three weeks since I've seen her.  She doesn't seem to phone as often anymore, and life just keeps getting in the way from a good visit.

The big at home job this weekend is painting the bathroom on the main floor.  We bought the paint two weeks ago, but haven't been able to make the time to get the job done...hopefully that will happen on Sunday.

I also want to pull out all of our camping gear and go through it.  My mom got a seasonal camping spot (means you can leave your camping trailer in one spot all year) and Jordan and I are planning on spending a lot of time out there.  So I want to sort out what gear we can bring and leave there as well as maybe some clothes and what not so I don't have to pack a tonne everytime.

If all that gets done - then maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to fold some laundry.

Fun times.

Priorities

They change.

Sometimes they don't change very often, sometimes they do.  Sometimes events happen in our life that have us call into question the path that we're on and require some thought about the fork in the road.

It has been ten weeks since my father passed away.

My priorities have changed.



Jordan and I have had some pretty big plans in finishing our house, including a garage, fence, landscaping, deck, basement development ect. - all really big things.  While I still want those things, I no longer feel the need to have them done right this minute - at the cost of our debt load and financial and personal well being.

What I want now, is to spend as much time as possible with my family.  With Jordan's family.

What Jordan and I both want is some calm, some steady peace in our financial house.  We want to be able to go on a trip with friends for a weekend, go camping with family and not worry that we can't because we've got this garage we're building (or whatever 'big project').  We also want to enjoy our house and our space with said family/friends.

So, we've adjusted our priorities.

If you've been following along in our growth over the last few years, you've seen that typically we save for a number of different things at one time.  Sometimes, as many as six or more.  This puts some pretty long sights on all of our goals and means that we don't have to prioritize them if we focus on all of them at the same time.

There's a few things that happen every year: Christmas and Camping - so, doesn't it make sense to save for those right away in the beginning of the year?  We've moved some cash from our 'house fund' into those funds so that they are done.  We've met two goals already and that feels great.

We also know that we want at least $1,500 in our emergency fund (about one month on EI if anything were to happen) - so, we moved some cash from our 'house fund' into our emergency fund and that's a third goal that we've met.

A weight has been lifted.

I then moved $500 to add to the debt pay off for this month and kept $1,000 in the house fund for some short term items around the house that we want.  Now that we've reached three goals and have the ability to get some things done around the house with out the weight of a garage weighing over us, we don't have to keep contributing to these small goals - so i'll be cancelling those auto-debits and adjusting the budget.  That also means that we can pay off our debt sooner.  Much sooner - but more on that tomorrow.

Miss Me?

Life has gotten hectic lately!

Work has been extremely busy and life has been a roller coaster.

We have our possession date for the home - December 8th!  I'm far to frugal to have paid a full months rent for December so we're going to be homeless for 8 days - we'll be couch surfing and our dogs will be in a kennel.

My dad is pretty sick so that's caused a bunch of stress too - he's responding well to treatment so we are all very positive.

I'm planning to get back into the swing of things soon; however, I really don't think I'll be settled into routine again until the new year.

What's Next?

I started writing this post by hand as a journal entry.  I've been pretty stressed out lately and was writing out everything that was going and in my life and what had led up to my big cry on Sunday night.  I wrote for about half an hour before scratching it all out - I was only giving myself a stomach cramp by writing it all out - it wasn't helping.

As I re-read it, I noticed a trend.

Everything was about why "I'm" stressed, why "I" am so super busy.

The thing is, is that I've always sort of operated in a bit of a self-centric way.  Not in a selfish, entitlement way - but in a take on the world and get stuff done kind of way. 


Jordan wants to help, he wants to be a part of our life and doesn't think I need to do everything.  That said, he's happy for me to take on what I love.  He's 100% available to support me.  I'm looking to make a change and embrace the help he's offered.  I need to give up control and trust that he can do and will do what is best for us.

Jordan asked that first I sort out what the priorities are so that he can take things on that will lift the most amount of weight off of my shoulders.  I thought I might start by listing out everything that's ongoing in our lives.

• Planning our Wedding, August - 2011
• I've done a lot of pre-work with the following, but we're still confirming our
• Caterer
• Confirm Menu
• Cake/Cupcake Baker
• Addresses (still need 29 addresses)
• Print Invitations
• Master of Ceremonies (thinking of having two)
• Writing our Vows (Jordan still has to decide if he wants to, but it would really mean a lot to me if we did)
• Confirm/Purchase Decorations
• We have done no work but still need to
• Find a bartender
• Find Ceremony Music
• Find a house sitter for honeymoon
• Find shoes
• Get business cards for safe ride program
• Get Jordan's attire
• Go Shopping:
• Flower Pots
• Fabric (10 meters lilac and 55 meters of charcoal coloured ribbon)
• Labels for Favours
• Spices for Favours
• Balloons/Helium? 
• Dinner Wine
• Wedding Bands
• Bridesmaids are coming to town in March to go dress shopping
• Financial expectations whether real or perceived
• There's other things to do - this is just the current on-going stuff
• Preparing for my CHRP, Exams in May-2011 and October-2011
• Requires 1-2 hours of study a day
• Jordan's in his second apprenticeship year out of three and goes to school until about 8pm every Tuesday night. 
• Moving/Buying Our First Home
• Need to give notice to our landlord by mid-April (we would give notice in May to move out for June 1st and then have July to settle in before getting married in August)
• Need to start packing soon so it's not too overwhelming later

Other things that impact our ability to deal with the above three huge events are:

• We just adopted a puppy
• General Social Events with family and friends
• Potluck Club (Love it)
• Yoga (thinking about doing it)
• A lot of travel for work lately for me
• Maintaining the house - general tidiness.
• I tend to have higher expectations and take more of this on then Jordan thinks I need to

I came up with that list without breaking a sweat, so it's entirely possible that there are more things going on.  Of course with each of the things above their is a significant financial impact, which only adds to everything.  I don't know how to prioritize these things - how to sort out what the most important is.  I don't know which of these things to ask Jordan for help with.

Since Sunday, Jordan has already taken a more active role in the house hunting project.  He's been in touch with the Real Estate agent on some properties we had looked at and about some ones that we are interested in looking at when I get back to town. He also had a bunch of rock chips in the Escape taken care of, which is fabulous!

How do you handle all the things that life throws at you?  Do you have any suggestions for how to sort out what to ask Jordan to take on?  Unfortunately I don't think he can go to Yoga for me or study for my CHRP for me.

Crisis Mode

We have gone from one crisis to another and then slapped with another.

wow, am i ever tired. my whole family is tired.

My grandmother fell on Thursday night. She broke her hip pretty badly. She was rushed to hospital, which is where I rushed to on Friday morning after I found out (a three hour drive). By the time I got there they were loading her up to take her to a different hospital (another three hour drive in a different direction). They have bolted her hip back together; unfortunately she has hip dysplasia which is compounded by severe osteoporosis and arthritis. It is unfortunate because it means that it was a very difficult surgery and her bone may not be strong enough for it to be an excellent prognosis.

I got back to Calgary late Monday night - Jordan, being the super awesome guy that he his had started laundry and had supper ready when I got home (he had come to the hospital city for a couple days, but left on Sunday to get back to work).

Posts to come include great praise for the emergency fund once I figure out all the money... my visa took some punishment this weekend. I'll also be writing about fuel mileage as there was a lot of driving about (once I get all my receipts organized).

I apologize if this post is riddled with spelling mistakes and grammar errors - I wanted to write something and this is just what I wound up with.

oh...and our roommate, yeah - the third new one since my brother moved out - just gave us notice.

Can you Afford to Stay at home?

I have recently seen a few posts relating to stay at home moms and mom's who re-enter the work force. There are arguments for and against, that go around in so many circles in can make a person dizzy. Some of these posts/conversations/arguments have appeared on:

Gail Vaz-Oxlade's blog - SAHM vs Working Wenches

Well Heeled With a Mission- When I Grow Up I want to Be a Guiltless Mom

..there were a few others that got me thinking but I can't seem to find them just now.

I'm not pregnant, nor do I plan to be for at least a few more years, but I do think it's an interesting topic and one best discussed between partners. If I can afford to stay at home with kids, I would like to. My mom spent a number of years at home with my brother and I and slowly re-entered the work force as we went to school. I think we benefited HUGELY (oh yeah, i capped that) by having her at home. I know that even now we have a very strong relationship (she even reads this blog, which a few people have noticed, hi mom!) and I credit that, in part, to the foundation that was built while I was small.

I found a calculator on todaysparents.com that calculates if it is financially viable for a parent to stay at home. I don't know if this is complete but it seems to capture everything. According to this calculator, I would be able to bring home about $20,000 with my current salary and current costs (for child care, i guessed using the rates from the child care program we have through work).

If you're a parent - did you stay at home with kids or did you work? How did you make the decision?

If you are not yet a parent and want to be - have you decided if mom or dad will stay with kids, do you want to work or stay at home?

I will be credit card debt free in 9 days!