With Jessie and Jordan off celebrating their newlywed status, I thought I'd take this opportunity to reflect on marriage - such a heavy word - and exactly what it means to me.
Some of you might know that I
recently upgraded from de facto to fiancee. (I still haven't quite got used to it and still refer to T as my partner, actually.)
What you mightn't know is this wasn't the first time he proposed. No siree. That came a couple of years ago, when I was in the throes of my final year at university and perilously close to a mini breakdown. There I was, in tears for the umpteenth time, lying in bed in our damp, mouldy converted-garage-room, when he asked me to marry him.
"Are you kidding?" I said. This was not how I had pictured it. I was 20 years old. He was, at the time, unemployed. And quite honestly, I wanted to be proposed to on a happy occasion, with a ring.
I think my reaction wounded him more than he let on, but eventually he gave it a proper shot two years later, and here we are today.
Those engaged among you who've started wedding planning (unlike me) have probably already come up against plenty of barriers. Specifically, I bet you've encountered people judging your choices from day one - even on the pettiest of details. I haven't even set a date, looked at any venues or settled on a guest list, but I've already met with judgement on three apparently controversial points:
Keeping my name
I've always planned on keeping my last name. But more people than I thought reacted to this, well, as if we were living a century ago. Even more surprising, these are women I've known for quite a while and who should have expected me to do so anyway.
A frugal, but not cheap, wedding
Never having been the kind of girl who dreamed about walking down the aisle, I'm much more concerned with saving for travel than my wedding. I'm really not excited by flowers or decorations. This leaves me in the minority. So far, I've pulled a number ($5,000) out of the air, and hope I can achieve all my priorities on that budget.
Not rushing it
To us, being engaged doesn't mean a rush to the aisle. I don't see it as a catalyst to start dress shopping. It's two people committing to getting married - but not necessarily immediately. In our case, it's more like a couple of years away. Again ... not a popular view; I've actually been asked why we bothered at all.
I feel brides too often get caught up with "the big day" and forget to actually pay any attention to what comes after.
Marriage.
To me, it's the precursor to buying a house, starting a family - it's a formal and binding commitment one doesn't enter into lightly. (Not that I judge anybody who follows a different path.)
For me, being married means choosing to choose somebody, every day, for the rest of your life. Choosing not to give up. Choosing to wake up to that person. To be their guiding light when they need one, and know they'll do the same for you. To focus on their strengths, not their weaknesses. To accept their flaws and faults. To know you will never walk alone, and accept both the benefits - and drawbacks - of the fact.
What does marriage mean to you personally?
Gah! This is the first week where nothing has changed....waiting is hard. 
Next on the list are a couple of coffee tables, an old couch, and old futon and a few lamps. We'll be using the money we get from the sale of these items to bolster our cash budget to prevent us from using our credit cards and staying on track with debt repayment.
