Who knew stamps would be the source of so much anxiety.....really, who out there has recently had a wedding and stirred up some sort of controversy over the use of stamps on RSVP envelopes.

I had originally thought (much like the twoonie bar) that a way to watch our spending would be to create a wedding website (which seems to a be a popular trend) and ask people to RSVP on the site.  After a bit of brainstorming with my mom we realized that some folks (grandparents mostly) don't use or have access to the internet.  So we thought we would include an option to RSVP online but still include a card and envelope and stamp the ones we thought would want to return it by mail.

I ran this idea by my best friend, who is fairly traditional, and she wasn't very fond of the idea.  Last night mom and I did some googling and found some forums on the topic - it's a HOT topic....

My mom things that stamping RSVP envelopes is born of the day when paretns were paying for weddings - but when the couple is paying themselves, she thinks there should be more leeway in these types of traditions.

The point in saving money isn't that this one time savings of about $50 is a large some of money, it's that every $50 we spend can add up very quickly to $1,000 and beyond - which is what we want to avoid.


  1. I think you mean every $50 you spend... but I get your point!

  2. Thanks momma - I made the edit :D

  3. My cousin and her husband used an online system and it worked very well for them ... very convenient for us too, since I rarely mail letters it gave me a chance to just RSVP immediately.

  4. I'm having the same "issue" (or will be at some point). My fiance is in web design so of course we are going to have a wedding website and I would LOVE if people RSVP'd on there (not only saving stamps but its so easy to see at a glance who is coming and who is not). But I do realize that there are quite a few people who are not so technologically inclined, and some who are so traditional and set in their ways about things like weddings that this would be considered a faux pas. I will be asking a few of my family members about this (especially the ones who fought tooth and nail for the open bar) about this idea too. I know 100% of our friends would be ok with RSVPing online but family, well, I will probably just send a card to them and save myself the aggravation and arguments over such a small thing. But I agree that trying to save everyway possible and staying within budget is much more important to me than going against a few people's opinions. Its deciding what's worth fighting for/over. Let us know what happens. Good luck, Morgaine.

  5. I find there are so many HOT topics for weddings these days. I feel like people should be entitled to whatever the heck they want to do haha.

    I would love to see a post documenting what you are spending money on for the entire wedding - honeymoon and rings included. I will be able to save and prepare the BF once I research more :)

  6. Hey, I say it's 2011, and most people are ion-line and would MUCH rather reply to a wedding invite on-line. I like the idea of including an RSVP card (unstamped) for the people that you believe will RSVP on-line (giving them the option to mail instead), and putting a stamp on the RSVP's you expect will be mailed (for those who are less likely actively on-line).

  7. My bf and I are always talking about wedding stuff since most of our friends have gotten married are are about to get married.

    People should do whatever they want to do. I like getting mail and I like sending it. I would put stamps on the RSVP.

    His brother did not put a registry on the invitation but it is up on their wedding site because apparently is it no longer okay to put a registry on the invitation. I think that is a bunch of baloney.

    We have decided people will get their invitations, they will get a stamp on the return envelop, a registry, and NO wedding website!

    The rule of life is to Keep It Simple Silly!
    Weddings do cost a lot, but there are so many ways to keep the prices down.

    1) Network, network, network! I network as a hobby through all my jobs and volunteer positions. I know at least 1-2 people in each part of the wedding industry.

    2) Ask for discounts. Get more than one price.

    3) Be flexible on date, time, etc, etc. If you are flexible then the halls and caterers can be flexible in prices.

    4) You do not need a $10,000 dress to make you feel beautiful. Look at the alternatives!

    5) Ask for financial assistant from family if you need it. Do not go into debt for a wedding.

  8. I would have most people RSVP online but I would include return envelopes for the elderly whom you know aren't online. Most of my elderly relatives would RSVP online but my grandmother never would because she doesn't own a computer.

    Remember, its your and Jordan's wedding and don't worry about what others think. If you're comfortable with online RSVPing, then go with it. I would do it in a heartbeat to save $50.

  9. I think the solution is simple put envelopes in with all the cards but make ppl pay for postage with a note saying that if they would like to be reimbursed for the stamp to let you know and you will be happy to do so. This way you don't waste money on stamps unnecessarily.

  10. All I can say is that we put stamps on our RSVPs. BUT, we actually had those fun canada post custom stamps done up so they were stamps with our picture on it! So Cool! However, an unforeseen outcome was that everybody wanted to keep their RSVPs as a memento so we barely got any back. They all phoned! lol. For me though, I was huge on etiquette and I didn't want to appear cheap.

  11. We stamped all the RSVP envelopes because we thought it was easier for people to drop them in a mailbox than worry about buying a stamp. We talked about the wedding website/online RSVP thing but decided it was too informal for us. Plus I have RSVPs with lovely things on them - "Can't wait!", "With bells on!", "Love you guys!" You can't get that with online RSVPs!

  12. I think I'd do the website and put my phone number to RSVP for those who are uncomfortable with the internet...but I would want a small wedding, so I guess it depends on how many people you're inviting.

  13. I never thought that stamps would be a big controversial topic. I'd personally say "screw it" to stamps. But then, no one I would be inviting doesn't use the internet... including the grandparents.

  14. My friend sent out her invites and forgot to put stamps on the RSVP envelopes. She emailed/called everyone she could, apologizing, and no one one complained. Nearly everyone just put their own stamps on the envelopes.

    I put stamps on all my envelopes but for coworkers and family, I didn't. They just handed them back to me.

    I say the online thing could work, especially if your guests are technically inclined.

  15. We made a wedding website (free and easy) at http://www.mywedding.com/ and it allows us to do RSVPs online.

    We are only ordering enough RSVP cards for the older family members - everyone else can RSVP through the site or email us.

    And if people are offended by that, too bad. It's the digital age - what is the point if we aren't taking advantage of it?


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