8/17/2015

Priorities

People are very quick to tell you that babies don't have to cost a lot of money.  That we, as a population, spend far more then is actually necessary.

To be fair, by people, I mean people who are 20-40 years older than me - at least those are the ones in my life who generally make the comment; I'm sure others have other experiences.

The first time my grandmother said it to me, I responded with "you're right - they don't have to cost a lot.  Do you know what does impact finances - not working for a year."  She took a minute, and then agreed - because while she worked later on in life, while she was raising her five children - she didn't work, and didn't have to.  In fact, it was expected that she wouldn't.  There also weren't the options that exist now.  Sure, there were baby carriers - but not nearly the options that we have today.  There are more choices now, more options.

Here's the thing - I think it's okay to spend money.

It's a tool and while I think it's important to have a stash for emergencies, planned spending and all that good stuff, it's also okay to spend the money you do have for discretionary things on just that - things that are discretionary.

So, yes, my stroller was pretty pricey...but its the best stroller for my families needs.

Jordan and I decided pretty early on, that our decision making tree for baby would put money last, not first.  Don't get me wrong, I haven't completely lost my frugal wits, we just decided on what our priorities would be before making purchasing decisions.

  1. Safety
  2. Frustration Level
  3. Money
Safety's first, always.  Next comes frustration level - I tend to run pretty hot.  I wasn't graced with patience a mile long like my mom, I'm more like my dad - short/quick temper & no grudges.  So, with that in mind, I knew that any equipment we bought for baby - be it a stroller or a car seat or something else, it had to be easy to figure out.  I'm going to be stressed already as a first time mom, scared, learning, and I don't want to buy something that I know would set me off.  Last, is money. 

We saved up for a long time for this baby, three years, and so while we do think about money and look for sales it's not as important as number one and number two on the list.
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4 comments:

  1. We've paid out about $55,000 in daycare costs and our kids are 6 and almost 2 so we have a long ways to go yet. Kids are super expensive and my kids are part of the reason to work hard to bring home the bacon.

    If you have a quick/short temper you should make a game plan before baby gets here on what you will do when you're frustrated. Will you step away from the situation and let Jordan handle it? Call your mom and ask her to come over? Ask a friend or neighbor for help? There will be moments of high frustration where the baby cries and nothing seems to appease them.

    I love love babies and I loved taking care of my own kids. But when my youngest was a baby, he would want to nurse at night for 3+ hours. Of course my milk ran dry but he wanted to keep nursing and it hurt my nipples after an hour or two of no milk. The minute I would take him off, he would wail. My husband had to step in to hold him for me and cuddle with him till he went to sleep.

    Anyway, I just read somewhere that its best to have a game plan upfront to deal with the frustration.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for sharing your story!

      We haven't talked about it yet - but we absolutely will be before baby arrives. Jordan's going to take the first two weeks off after baby arrives, and then my mom is taking the next two weeks. So I'll have a month with daily support to help figure out what I'm doing...it's not a lot, but it's more than lots of people get so I'm hoping that helps us get a good foundation and figure each other out.

      also. wow. daycare is crazy expensive.

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  2. Agreed. It's the time off work/daycare that worries me. And as the main earner, I'm really worried that I might have a physically difficult pregnancy/birth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm with you on that - I'm the main earner too. I've run some rough numbers, and we can afford daycare for one when I'm back to work full time, but I know it's going to be a challenge

      Delete

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